Where There's Smoke

October 7, 2020 - Page 18


<Funguy> god damn it why is everything black again???

<P-Man> Excellent work, Mr. Piermario. So far, you have completed the tasks assigned to you in record time.

<Funguy> stop being vague and tell me what this is and where i am you stupid pee man!!!!

<P-Man> My employers summoned us here to discuss the fruits of your labor. Your work so far in this run has been exemplary, having tinkered the chorus fruit in only 159 moves. Though you may be performing on autopilot, your talent is visible even to those around you, unaware as you are. As such, you have my congratulations. But there is still a long road ahead of you. You will have to maintain your acceleration in order to fulfill your duty in the quickest manner possible.

<Funguy> i didn't understand a word of that??

<P-Man> It will all make sense in due time.

<Funguy> fuck you fuck you fuck you!!!! i don't want to play your weird games, you abstract asshole!!!! and why are you getting up so close to me???? your breath even smells of urine!!!!

<Funguy> i will rip you apart, you piss gurgling freak.

<Wingus> haha dude you got me there im just here to talk about the weed

<Funguy> what the? what just happened?

<Wingus> you got a booger in ur nose

<Funguy> wait slow down what did you say about weed?

<Wingus> can i ask you a personal question

<Funguy> you know what, sure, go for it.

<Wingus> im gonna to need some more of that whatever that shit was last night. that spaceweed you cooked up last night? ? with the blue beam ???

<Funguy> what are you talking about??

<Wingus> im talkin about the chorus fruit numbnuts. best high i ever smoked.

<Funguy> YOU WHAT

<Wingus> it was awesome

<Funguy> why would you EVER ingest an alien substance you know nothing about??? let alone SMOKE it?!

<Wingus> its not about why i smoked the spaceweed. what matters is that its the best weed ever

<Funguy> it's not even weed- there's no sense in arguing with you. i can't change your mind.

<Wingus> i bet i can change yours

<Funguy> ?!

<Wingus> i need you to make more of that spaceweed for me

<Funguy> oh hell no. there is NO way i am going to enchant any chorus fruit for you!!!