Where There's Smoke

May 2, 2022 - Page 34

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<Wingus> wow

<Wingus> i could have handled that so much better than how bouncer did

<Tooligan> STOP FUCKING DEADNAMING ME!!!

<Wingus> if i were in that situation id be much more clever about it

<Wingus> like if you don't have anything funny to say don't say it

<Wingus> basic rule of life

<Tooligan> SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCKING CALL ME BOUNCER. I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW THAT GUY KNEW MY NAME IN THE FIRST PLACE.

<Tooligan> EVEN IF HE WAS SENT BY THE PAPERMAKERS, THEY SHOULDN'T KNOW MY OLD NAME EITHER... RIGHT?

<Tooligan> LIKE, WHAT THE FUCK! THE ONLY GUY WHO KNOWS ME AS "BOUNCER" IS BAUER.

<Wingus> oh speaking of bauer

<Wingus> check out it

<June> By the stars...

<Wingus> yeah by the stars your right. we are LODED

<Wingus> with the dollar sign on the side and everything

<June> Where did you even get more spaceweed to sell them?

<Wingus> this funny guy helped me "secure the bag"...

<Wingus> aint that right, funny guy?

<Funguy> yeah, sure. i'll get around to it.

<Wingus> now listen here bouncy boy

<Wingus> i'll give u ur cut in due time

<Wingus> cuz i know u want it. as much as u pretend 2 hate money

<Wingus> u need it more than any of us!

<Wingus> but first... tell me more about how you were a "bouncer"

<Wingus> and how you became a "tooligan"

<Tooligan> HMPH.

<Tooligan> I GREW UP YOUR AVERAGE TOM. I WAS BOUNCER. EVERYONE KNEW ME AS THAT. WHY DID MY PARENTS CALL ME BOUNCER? FUCK IF I KNOW. I NEVER KNEW THEM. SO BAUER TOOK US IN. IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. YOU SAW FIRSTHAND HOW ABUSIVE HE IS.

<Tooligan> I SPENT MY TEENAGE YEARS SELLING DRUGS. I WAS SOON ON MY OWN, AND LOST TOUCH WITH JUNE IN THE PROCESS. IT WAS AROUND THAT TIME THAT I LOST MY TAIL AND LATER MY EARS.

<Tooligan> WHEN I EVENTUALLY QUIT, I NEEDED A NEW IDENTITY. SO I GOT A HAIRCUT AND ON A WHIM STARTED CALLING MYSELF 'TOOLIGAN' BECAUSE OF A LICENSE PLATE I SAW. AND WELL, I'VE BEEN TOOLIGAN EVER SINCE. EVERYONE KNOWS ME AS TOOLIGAN NOW. AND I MAKE SURE THAT THOSE WHO KNOW OTHERWISE FORGET.

<Wingus> damn that makes you like. way older than me. thats funny

<Wingus> so what's your story then

<June> Well, me and Tooligan were pretty distant when he was selling... I spent most of my time at the library, reading about the history of catpeople. I eventually started studying black and white magic, too.

<June> After the library was shut down and I spent more time at home with Bauer, I became disillusioned. So I left when I turned 18. I found myself at the YMCA, where me and Tooligan reunited. We spent the next decade working for the Syndicate, and well, here we are.

<Wingus> huh. so we're all orphans then

<June> What's your story, Wingus?

<Wingus> eh. don't really care to elaborate

He took another drag.

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